all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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