How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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