After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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