Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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