hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
