We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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