Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
