that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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