I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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