Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I party with great urgency now.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
