is your mom at the bar?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it's great music for shaving your balls
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
