his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
