Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
