How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
