Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You have to summon your inner elephant
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
