I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
