i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
