I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
