She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
