ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
