I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
