theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
