Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
