WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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