If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
