The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Panties = found
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