does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
