Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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