I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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