shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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