And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
