look no pants
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
