no you cant smoke seaweed
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
