Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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