and you said cock pushups were impossible
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
