So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
