I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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