Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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