What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
