Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
