we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
