last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize