And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
