I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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