Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
