WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
