some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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