Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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