Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
