I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You made out with two different species that night
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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