i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
