Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
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wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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