she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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