smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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