I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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