just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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