And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
