So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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