i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
