Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
