we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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